Remind Me Again

I am a bit down lately kaya di muna ako nagsulat ng blog. I tend to get emotional whenever I'm feeling ahuumph.

But then I remember, the reason why I did blogging is for me to release all canned feelings so I could move on with life,with the shift, with the change.

Now, I'm trying to get employed. Online.

Super miss ko na mag work. I feel down kasi, i'm trying to be the same Nelle. I nag myself always - E hindi nga ganun yon. May changes kaya may mga bagay na nakakapanibago.

eto na naman ako, Remind me again why I resigned.

1. Liam.
2. Miguel.

My kids need a full time caregiver,  taga alaga, tagabantay ng bawat kailangan nila, and a setup that is permanent,  not the type na one week, sa parents ni Mike, next sa parents ko naman. Remember how Kuya got confused with dealing with this setup and he went to silent kid to super hyper, just to get our attention. He did. This is why I am a full time mommy now.


BUT I MISS WORK!!

Work as in corporate slave. I am too used to that setup, my system is yelling, WTF.
Online Job, yeah sa bahay naman ako, pero it takes away a chunk of my time with my kids na super demanding pa sa attention ko. Kakapagod nga itong work ko ngayon kesa nasa office ako. Drained na yata ako.

And then, while contemplating, my hubby,  Mike went home from work, he checked if Im feeling better. Parang miss na miss niya ako. Aba, oo nga ano? dati don't get to check on each other's day kasi we're both still thinking about the job we left off for the day.

And also by the time he got home the kids have already eaten, cleaned up ready for bed or playtime with daddy. When dati, ito pa lang yung moment na we will fetch them from lola or we will see the kids na lang on the end of the week.

Before,  when we fetch the kids are  asleep na or too drained na sa maghapong laro ng gadget, which I really really don't want my kids to be doing the whole day, but what choice do I have e parents namin yung nagalaga, we can't demand that much.

Ngayon,  my husband is so happy to get home quick because our bunso and kuya are home waiting and are so happy to see daddy, at ako naman, kahit na pagod, would feel recharged because, this is what I picture my home will be full of laughter and playful banters... not the tired, deadma- muna-tayo-talk-to-you later scene.

Then I was reminded.

I resigned because I don't want to give my children just some percentage. I did this thing because I want 100% of me for them while they're still young. What I'm doing now, is a sacrifice for my career life, but a big plus for my children's childhood. In the future they will only remember the time I have made them happy, make everything feel secure and okay at home, play with them, prepare their meals,clean up their playful mess, guide them with their homework etc. Their play, sleep, waking hours is with a  parent and that I am with them every step of  their struggling itty weeny years.

Now I feel better na. Kids are such a joy talaga. I hope every home have one, they make a big difference talaga.

Happiness to everyone!